Monday, June 22, 2009

Why "We Three Kings" make me cry? Never been beat up by Wise Man or Camel!

Slam man absorbing a hit.Image via Wikipedia

I am not 100% sure about these song selections. I am in a very different place now than I was even 2 years ago. My emotions are all focused on making my everyday life match my highest aspirations, so I have very little emotional energy left for where music can take me emotionally. During the dark times of my life, the music I listened to was too self-absorbed, and I threw them all away a long time ago, because I just couldn't risk wasting any more time.

We Three Kings by The Roches

This song is the only one that can make me cry. I have no idea why. I don't have any strong sad feelings about Christmas or Christmas music. Must be the melody. If I had some musical ability, I could state what it was unique about that melody.

There Is A Light That Never Goes Out by Smiths

I don't cry, but I do feel very melancholy. The first quarter century of my life was quite lonely - I had things to share, but I hadn't yet processed that I was on a unsustainable self-destructive path when it came to my relation to the outside world. There is nothing like *almost* hitting rock bottom to change self-destructive behaviors. I still have some unsustainable self-destructive behaviors, but I traded up to a better set of garbage behaviors, and I am self-aware and working on them daily.

Isolation RoomImage by Victor V via Flickr

This song captures a feeling of self-imposed isolation.

Brian Wilson by Barenaked Ladies

Again, no waterworks, but a feeling of melancholy. Again, a song about isolation. My isolation was profound during my collage years. I desperately wanted help. But my foolish pride kept me from examining my personal faults. I was playing an elaborate game to preserve my self-esteem, even though that self-esteem was fraudulent, and destructive. Bleh..

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Brian WilsonBrian Wilson via

Lying in bed, just like Brian Wilson did...

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