Rob my house, my Rottweiler will just shed fur on you...

Good thing my dog sleeps on the couch all day, would not want the couch to drift off of the ground, and float away...
Rottweiler Puppy by Photos8.com
My half-Rottweiler/half-Black Lab puppy girl, Susie, is pretty durn useless. She is a scared, anxious little thing, the rustling of a trash bag can send her scurrying. Susie is a sucker for anybody who tells her she is a good girl and gives her a pet on the head and a tasty treat, so professional burglars could get past her will no difficulty.

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And, since Susie is such a fraidy-cat, she gets excited about anything she can bully, like a tiny baby in a stroller, or a very tiny dog, or an old weak person. Susie will bark and snap her little teeth, and make a total disgrace of herself. She is completely harmless, but it is still painfully embarrassing for me, the guy who is walking her through the neighborhood. My neighbors think I harbor a vicious dog -- they don't know that I just have a noisy fuzzy cream-puff on a leash.

A whole lot of uselessness, in a black fuzzy coat. That is my Susie dog!