Dylan's Candy Bar in my town would be nice

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Check out these "Candy Sweet Treat Parties" held at Dylan's Candy Bar http://www.dylanscandybar.com/parties-and-events_sweet-treats/ and Yummy Gummys Sweet & Sour http://www.dylanscandybar.com/Candy_Sours-Gummys

Har, read this - Food Network Dinner Impossible "Candy Catastrophe" at world's largest candy store, Dylan's Candy Bar in New York City http://www.foodnetwork.com/dinner-impossible/candy-catastrophe/index.html The next time I find myself in New York City, I am heading here. The gift baskets look lame. How can I get my sour gummy **ON** with these girly-girl gift baskets?

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If you have a candy party there "Candy Girls with Trays - Reminiscent of the good ole cigarette girls, our Candy Girls will add an element of fun and pizzazz to your party as they walk around with trays of our sumptuous candies and chocolates." Sounds like an opportunity to embarrass myself - leering at Candy Girls, and going into diabetic shock.

Run a lingerie shop while blushing, stammering, hiding from wife

I am not sure how I would manage to run a lingerie shop while blushing and stammering and being incredibly self-conscious about having a visible erection. I am not sure how I would run a lingerie shop without my wife finding out. Instead of selling, I would spend all my time hiding from my potential patrons and my wife - hiding in the back of the shop amongst the boxes of frilly underwear.
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Having a store is difficult, in any economy, because of the fixed expenses, especially rent. That is why the Apple store is so impressive. I admire Steve Jobs for pulling it off. Took my daughter there to buy a colorful case for her iPod Touch, and the store was packed, and people seemed happy and employees where easy to find. I searched around for a extended battery for her iPod, and she planted herself in front of a workstation running a kid's game. Very well run store. The other stores we visited at the mall just didn't seem to have the same amount of product being moved. It is all about Gettin' Paid, Baby!

If I had a store, it would have to be a labor of love, where even if I wasn't moving tons of product, the store would be full of enthusiasts, which is nice. Maybe a knife and cutlery store, where I also do reasonably priced sharpening, while patrons wait. The mechanics of a properly sharpened knife or cutting tool are interesting, and sharp knifes are less dangerous than dull knives, because a dull blade leads to excessive force to cut leads to the knife slipping and stabbing leads to somebody getting really hurt. People instinctively treat a well sharpened knife carefully, as well. Maybe a very large selection of protective covers for all kinds of cutlery, so people could walk in with their nice cutlery, get it sharpened while they wait, and leave with a snug fitting protective cover, so their knives stay sharp and safe in the drawer. And they would also walk out with new cooking utensils, because they browse while they wait.

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Also, sell brined turkeys, deep-fat-fried turkeys, smoked turkeys - because those are difficult to do with a large bird, keeping the temperature correct, and also because deep-fat-frying turkeys can be very dangerous. I think people would appreciate it, because a properly brined turkey is a very moist and tasty treat, and gives good leftovers.

My wife always talks about opening a restaurant. She is a very fine cook, of many different types of food, of many different types of cuisine, and instinctively knows how to cook efficiently so that the courses of food get in front of the patrons at the right time. But if any customer complains, she will cleave their head open with a butcher's knife. (My baby is a little sensitive to criticism.) Probably best to serve from a open window on the side of a building, so people take their yummy food and split, or otherwise focus on take-out. Reduce the chances of homicide of complaining customers.

Uncooked Ramen Cup-A-Noodle: Salty & Crunchy

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Frankly, I couldn't care less about Martha Steward, as a professional home maker. I would be very interested in asking her about business, success, and managerial advice and stories. I would ask her about jail. But if I had to prepare dishes, I would show her the garbage I regularly consume, and horrify her with how I vacuum down large quantities of food down my throat in mere seconds. It is my super-power, and it surprises everyone. Very little gets in the way of my tummy and available calories.

Uncooked Ramen Cup-A-Noodle I just dump the uncooked Cup-A-Noodle in a bowl, eat it like some crazy bird's nest made from fried noodle, and lick up the salty chicken powder on the bottom. My cousin once said, after watching me eat uncooked ramen, that if I could eat that, I could eat a human baby. Perhaps, but a human baby probably doesn't have the same salt rush kick, and biting into the baby skull is probably not as crunchy as the uncooked ramen.

Whole Wheat Toast with Reduced Sugar Strawberry Preserve Whole wheat bread toast is awesome. The grocery store now sells reduced sugar strawberry preserve, which is good because it doesn't taste like eating pure sugar. It has a nice strawberry tang to it. Best when you spread the preserve, then fold over, so you get the contrast between the warm toast and the chilled preserve straight from the fridge.

Cold pizza w/ Frank's RedHot Buffalo Wing Sauce We have about 10 different hot sauces in the fridge that I use regularly. This is a particularly naughty one, what with the buttery savory added to the heat and the salt and garlic and the vinegar.

Golden years in Tokyo, eating Sushi!

Very fine food. I really love seafood, and Japanese food in particular. I cannot say I will particularly enjoy the hustle and bustle of the big city, so I will probably spend my days inside my house (with paper walls) surrounded by a

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zen garden.