Run a lingerie shop while blushing, stammering, hiding from wife

I am not sure how I would manage to run a lingerie shop while blushing and stammering and being incredibly self-conscious about having a visible erection. I am not sure how I would run a lingerie shop without my wife finding out. Instead of selling, I would spend all my time hiding from my potential patrons and my wife - hiding in the back of the shop amongst the boxes of frilly underwear.
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Having a store is difficult, in any economy, because of the fixed expenses, especially rent. That is why the Apple store is so impressive. I admire Steve Jobs for pulling it off. Took my daughter there to buy a colorful case for her iPod Touch, and the store was packed, and people seemed happy and employees where easy to find. I searched around for a extended battery for her iPod, and she planted herself in front of a workstation running a kid's game. Very well run store. The other stores we visited at the mall just didn't seem to have the same amount of product being moved. It is all about Gettin' Paid, Baby!

If I had a store, it would have to be a labor of love, where even if I wasn't moving tons of product, the store would be full of enthusiasts, which is nice. Maybe a knife and cutlery store, where I also do reasonably priced sharpening, while patrons wait. The mechanics of a properly sharpened knife or cutting tool are interesting, and sharp knifes are less dangerous than dull knives, because a dull blade leads to excessive force to cut leads to the knife slipping and stabbing leads to somebody getting really hurt. People instinctively treat a well sharpened knife carefully, as well. Maybe a very large selection of protective covers for all kinds of cutlery, so people could walk in with their nice cutlery, get it sharpened while they wait, and leave with a snug fitting protective cover, so their knives stay sharp and safe in the drawer. And they would also walk out with new cooking utensils, because they browse while they wait.

Image by cobalt123 via Flickr

Also, sell brined turkeys, deep-fat-fried turkeys, smoked turkeys - because those are difficult to do with a large bird, keeping the temperature correct, and also because deep-fat-frying turkeys can be very dangerous. I think people would appreciate it, because a properly brined turkey is a very moist and tasty treat, and gives good leftovers.

My wife always talks about opening a restaurant. She is a very fine cook, of many different types of food, of many different types of cuisine, and instinctively knows how to cook efficiently so that the courses of food get in front of the patrons at the right time. But if any customer complains, she will cleave their head open with a butcher's knife. (My baby is a little sensitive to criticism.) Probably best to serve from a open window on the side of a building, so people take their yummy food and split, or otherwise focus on take-out. Reduce the chances of homicide of complaining customers.