Recover from Bad Break-up - Man up: improve yourself first, men, the right ladies will follow later

Female readers, skip the first one. You can start reading at #2. I typed this pretty quickly, and the advice seems sound. I cannot imagine going too wrong following this advice after a bad breakup.

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Sexist piece of advice - Women please ignore

[Female readers - please skip over this one] Get another piece of tail before you lose the "stink" of the last girl. Nothing is so attractive to a women on a man than the "stink" of another woman. Also, you will waste less time "crying over spilt milk" if you know you are under time pressure. Just a few weeks, at the very maximum. Notice I said "piece of tail", and not "serious relationship". You are not worthy of a "serious relationship" just yet(see #2). [Female readers - you can continue reading]

Man up

Work on your job, career, car, clothes, hair, domicile, physique, quality of friends, and also take care of your spiritual outlook. Assume the break-up was caused by your own lack - either in attractiveness or judgement. When you have objective evidence of progress in all these fronts, you are ready for another serious relationship. Not working on these, everyday, is another way of saying "I want to go back to being a thumb-sucking mommy's boy". Sure, you will back slide. But don't let yourself off the hook, and don't cling to your mommy's dress hem, you nancy-boy!

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Make girls feel good, everyday

The last piece of advice is to not get bitter - a man who hates women is a vile thing. A man's job, if he is not already in a relationship, is to make women happy and feel good, in all sorts of ways, every day. Smile (gentlemanly nice smile), flirt (gentlemanly, nicely), and even ask girls out just to flatter them when they turn you down - giving a girl this gift of flattery is one of the nicest things you can do as a man. Go out on a limb, and tell a girl the nice things she deserves to hear. She will turn you down because she already has a man (let's say), but she will still be flattered by a gentlemanly compliment.

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I get called out by Plinky wisenheimers StratPlayer and GWMJedi:

From Plinky's Jess - Abstaining from Evading Avoidance

This is the most inspiring thing I have read in a long time. I will just quote it all. From Plinky's Jess: http://www.plinky.com/answers/65380

Avoiding things, whether simple or complicated, is not a vice of mine because the hardest lesson of my teenage years was to avoid avoiding things. My parents divorced in my early teens and my mother, completely unprepared for the event, spiraled into a financial quagmire quite common among divorced women. By the time I was 15, I spent more time living with the stable members of my family and avoided my parents. That was mistake 1. At age 16, I started getting calls from creditors demanding that I owed them money.

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Apparently, my mother had taken out several credit cards in my name...beginning when I was about 12 years of age. There were also unpaid medical procedures in my name, furniture and appliances purchased via store credit...IN MY NAME (and more importantly, my social security number)! Since everyone told me it was impossible for me to have credit at my age, I ignored the issue. That was mistake 2. When I turned 18, my future was looking bright when GE accepted me into their leadership Internship. However, my elation was short-lived when the program manager brought me into her office to discuss my credit report. I spilled the details and both of us freaked out. She didn’t help me out of the problem directly. But she did say something that I’ll never forget. She said that by avoiding the problem, I was following in the footsteps of my mother. And that I would face far worse obstacles in life so conquering this relatively minor one would provide a good foundation for my future (in more ways than the obvious). With her help, I made a list of pros and cons about various resolutions, making the problem less frightening. I also contacted a family friend who was an attorney. For one week I made the man dinner at night while he made phone calls and faxed paperwork. In the end, I could prove that I did not live with my mother or benefit in anyway from the items she purchased on credit in my name. Oh yeah, I could also prove that they issued credit to a MINOR! Within 30 days the focus was back on dear ole mom and my report was as an 18 year-old’s report should be...squeaky clean. From that ordeal, I learned three things. First, never trust my mother (hey, better to learn this when you’re young enough not to be financially liable). Second, always, always, always pay credit cards off at the end of the month. And Third, deal with any problem immediately. Never avoid it. Life is too short to sweat the small stuff that arises from avoiding your problems (or chores, for that matter).

My comment:

> She said that by avoiding the problem, I was following in the footsteps of my mother. And that I would face far worse obstacles in life so conquering this relatively minor one would provide a good foundation for my future (in more ways than the obvious).

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Wow, this is an awesome mentor to have so young in life! Please, please, please call or write her to thank her, today, because people like this are one in a million. I am so happy you had someone with so much good advice to share at such an impressionable age! I would be so happy if my daughter met someone like that at the start of her working life. Cheers!

I just cannot say enough about how inspiring this story of a mentor helping a young adult is. I really wish for my daughter to have such a person in her life.