Friday, August 28, 2009

My exaggerated eye-rolling muscles are in very good shape...

EyeballImage via Wikipedia

It was explained to me, at lunch today, that my response to ANYONE saying ANYTHING is an exaggerated eye-roll, followed by an animated condescending interrupting remark. My Baby-Love, my father, and my sister all had tears of laughter running down their faces as they saw my reptilian brain slowly realizing this was true. I found this out as we were all eating Mexican. I am horrified at myself. For my eye-rolling. It is so darn rude and lame. What a tool I seem to be.

Eyeball PyramidImage by Rammikins! via Flickr

I think I will ram some meat skewers through my eyeballs to prevent this. And wear a neck brace. And staple my eyebrows in place. And stuff a gym sock in my mouth at all times. Maybe this will help. With my compulsive eye rolling and rudeness. The fundamental problem is that I think everything anyone says is stupid, and I don't understand why they are talking. In my Aspergers mush brain, I don't understand why everyone isn't always silently reading a post-graduate statistics textbook every waking moment - reading for fun. So human talking annoys me, and I must interrupt it noisily and grotesquely, by shutting people down by showing them their stupidity. So I can go back to reading my post-graduate statistics textbook - for fun. My Baby-Love let me know she will happy to launch her fists into my eye sockets, closing my eyes under purple swollen bruised flesh, the next time I roll my eyes at her. So I have that going for me.

Black EyeImage by CTRL-F5 via Flickr

We will overcome this personal tragedy.

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