Oldest child, initially rebellious to father, a winning combination...

Oldest male child, so from there would come the tendency for conservatism.

Image by drp via Flickr

I had an alcoholic and abusive father, so, along with my own aggression, comes a tendency for rebellion. Now, that I have reconciled with father, and I admire what he was able to accomplish with his life and provide for his family, I have a combination of both conservatism and rebellion, that I feel works well for me. Both conservatism and rebellious revolutionary progressivism can be unbelievably idiotic, in the extremes. The two together, holding the worst parts of both in check, is pretty good way to be, I feel. Obviously, it takes a personality that can handle being in perpetual inner conflict and ambiguity. My skin is already on fire with anxiety, so a little more conflict barely matters. Err, the quicker I type, the more I reveal of my, how can I put this delicately, "potential for hideousness". Would it soften your opinion of me if I tell you that my loved ones are quick to laugh at me, and I am quick to join in on their laughter?...