God bless those who silently, unostentatiously "Keep on Rocking in the Free World"

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Silent Rockers

God bless those who silently, unostentatiously "Keep on Rocking in the Free World". That is not me - I am a obnoxious grouchy dude, all up in his own head, with too great an opinion of my lazy self. But those who do what needs to be done, and do it without a need for glory - these are the salt of the earth. My award would to grind their enemies and oppressors into hamburger meat, or 15,000 dollars, whichever they prefer - I'm easy. Mike Rowe from "Dirty Jobs" can host the award ceremony.

Cigarette Stompers

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Too many of my friends and other people I like smoke cigarettes. So they will die, and Big Tobacco gets rich of them too. That sucks. For everyone cool who quits smoking cigarettes, I would award them the option of a fine cigar or some fine loose tobacco for a pipe, so they can have one relaxing smoke at the end of the day. Or they can smoke a bowl. Because cool people deserve the best things in life, but they don't deserve to die and have their monies go to Big Tobacco.