How to turn a day at Disneyland into a gut-wrencher: being hilariously inexperienced and having romantic expectations thrust upon you.
More awkward than romantic. So it is a perfect match for me, because, as a human, I am more awkward than romantic. We, the girl and I, were the less sexually advanced friends of a pair that hooked up and got hot and heavy during a visit to Disneyland. So, whatever is the opposite of hot and heavy, that was us, the girl and I. I remember holding hands, and often needing to switch sides, because of clamminess and sweatiness of our palms. We suffered the agony of being with a pair deep kissing and heavy petting, while scared out of our minds, not entirely turned on by each other, and having no clue what to talk about, or even where to look. It ended as a quick peck at the gate of the park as we were leaving. She aimed for my lips, I aimed for her cheek, because I am a gentleman or a terrified little boy, whichever sounds better. I apologized, pulled back, and planted a quick dry one on her lips. Aww, it is so innocent you could just puke.
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