Boing-Boing: Crotch-bomber psyche laid bare in messageboard archives

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This is pretty intense. It is a reminder to myself to love love love mean people, especially people who are mean to me when I open up. The alternative is to descend slowly into a sick world where suiciding myself along with killing innocents seems like a good idea.

God, help me to love mean people better. God bless those who don't demand everyone be nice to them.

Why don't these guys kill themselves quietly? Oh well, at least the most damage he did was burning his own crotch. Although there are rumblings to bomb Yemen.

http://www.upi.com/Top_News/Special/2009/12/28/After-bomb-plot-Yemen-in-US-cross-hairs/UPI-17621262025750/

Christ, way to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. A guy burns up his own crotch, and my tax dollars go to bomb 1000 Yemenis to create 100000 motivated terrorists.

From the usually worthless Boing-Boing:

Boing-Boing: Pantsbomber psyche laid bare in messageboard archives (spoiler: he used sad-face emoticons): "Now that we've gazed inside what is purported to be Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab's explosives-laden underwear, let's look inside his mind, by way of an archive of postings he made to the Islamic discussion website gawaher.com.
Would the prophet Muhammad have played soccer, were he alive today? Is it okay to eat meals with my parents, even though they're unclean? All this and more he asked, and we know this because Wired Danger Room dug up a slew of links.
The following post credited to 'Farouk1986' is to me the most chilling of all, because it is the most human. As was the response that followed, from another guy on the forum who'd been to the same emotional place [insulting insipid banter removed]

Basically, the problem I'm having is that I've been having extreme loneliness...for many years. I don't really know what to do because I'm not the type who likes to go out much, and I'm just shy and quiet. Even on the internet, I don't feel comfortable posting much because it exposes myself. Sometimes people are so mean.
So I'm trying to figure out what to do. I just wish I had someone to give me attention and stuff. I wish I had someone who would be there to listen to me, and always be nice to me. It really hurts to have someone neglect me or be mean. Unfortunately, a weakness of mine is that I'm sensitive, but I think I became more sensitive after something bad happened some years ago.

Image by ukhti27 via Flickr

I wish I had at least one nice person to talk to, maybe over e-mail or Messenger. Of course, if I could find someone to marry, then Insha'Allah I would have someone in real life to give me all the attention and affection I wanted. So far, the families we've met aren't interested in me, though.

Loneliness (Farouk1986, on gawaher.com)

"

Why "We Three Kings" make me cry? Never been beat up by Wise Man or Camel!

Image via Wikipedia

I am not 100% sure about these song selections. I am in a very different place now than I was even 2 years ago. My emotions are all focused on making my everyday life match my highest aspirations, so I have very little emotional energy left for where music can take me emotionally. During the dark times of my life, the music I listened to was too self-absorbed, and I threw them all away a long time ago, because I just couldn't risk wasting any more time.

We Three Kings by The Roches

This song is the only one that can make me cry. I have no idea why. I don't have any strong sad feelings about Christmas or Christmas music. Must be the melody. If I had some musical ability, I could state what it was unique about that melody.

There Is A Light That Never Goes Out by Smiths

I don't cry, but I do feel very melancholy. The first quarter century of my life was quite lonely - I had things to share, but I hadn't yet processed that I was on a unsustainable self-destructive path when it came to my relation to the outside world. There is nothing like *almost* hitting rock bottom to change self-destructive behaviors. I still have some unsustainable self-destructive behaviors, but I traded up to a better set of garbage behaviors, and I am self-aware and working on them daily.

Image by Victor V via Flickr

This song captures a feeling of self-imposed isolation.

Brian Wilson by Barenaked Ladies

Again, no waterworks, but a feeling of melancholy. Again, a song about isolation. My isolation was profound during my collage years. I desperately wanted help. But my foolish pride kept me from examining my personal faults. I was playing an elaborate game to preserve my self-esteem, even though that self-esteem was fraudulent, and destructive. Bleh..

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Brian Wilson via last.fm

Lying in bed, just like Brian Wilson did...